Anyone who’s been following my blog has probably noticed that I haven’t been writing nearly as much as I was last month when I started this journey. This is mostly because I haven’t felt like rolling over and dying lately. This is a good thing.
I can’t tell you what exactly has changed in me. To be honest, I haven’t been doing any of the things I should be doing to help myself: I stopped taking the St. John’s Wort, I haven’t been getting much exercise and I have been neglecting my writing. Basically, I have been totally lazy. But as surely as the tide rolls in and back out to sea, I know that I’ve just been riding a wave and that I best prepare for it to break before it crashes on the shore and drags me under. In other words, I know from experience that just because I have been feeling good for a couple of weeks does not mean that I am healed. All of sudden the depression can and will come back, and I want to be ready for it.
I met with a mental health expert at my local hospital last week who interviewed me in depth about my relationships, my past and my emotional state. Once she had a better idea of who she was dealing with, she was able to recommend that I attend “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” group therapy. I have yet to meet this group and begin treatment, but I’m hoping that meeting like-minded people will help me to feel less alone in my fight (assuming I meet like-minded people). I am a bit nervous that I’m going to walk into a therapy session and everybody will be shaking and scared of their own shadows. This will not do me any good. I need a strong support group full of people who are ready to kick anxiety’s ass. I don’t want to turn into a second therapist because I’m the only patient who has their shit even remotely together. But I’m trying not to make any assumptions ahead of time. My doctor has said nothing but good things, so I’ll give it a go.
In other news, I have been focusing on a different avenue of my writing and have recently begun contributing to HUSH Magazine, a local Vancouver and online publication that aims to tell it like it is and leave no taboo topic untouched. After I shared my story with you here in January, I realized that by getting that weight off my chest I was freeing myself up to be able to write about anything. When I stumbled upon HUSH, I knew I had met my perfect match. I’ve taken on the role of travel writer/commentator and have already had two articles published; one about sex overseas and another about the types of people who should not travel. I’m aiming to get one article published each week. It’s been a great motivator for me and, along with this blog, has reignited a passion for writing that I thought had been snuffed out forever. I feel like I have a purpose again -however small and mundane that purpose might be- and that has greatly contributed to my current state of emotional stability.
So there you go. I’ve been keeping busy and feeling pretty good, but I thought I owed you all a quick update because I know now that there are a lot of people with a vested interest in my well-being. I thank you all for your continued support and I promise to keep you updated on my weekly progress. In the meantime, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me on Facebook or twitter @AnnaWildXx, and look for my weekly contributions to HUSH Magazine online at www.hushmagazine.ca.
Until next time…